What CAN’T you accomplish when you have a powerful belief in yourself? Anyone who has accomplished a goal that seemed unattainable will tell you they couldn’t have done it without determination, perseverance and a powerful belief that the goal was possible. But what about when your own confidence wavers? What about when you try and fail? What happens when others doubt you and it leads you to doubt yourself?
As a mother, you are bound to doubt yourself, your choices, and your ability at some point in pregnancy, labor, delivery and postpartum. This is a very normal part of the human experience. In fact, failing and mistakes are a part of the human experience too. Newsflash: no one is perfect! Every successful person can give you a laundry list of her failures and will tell you that doubt often perches itself on one shoulder and shouts loudly in an attempt to drown out the angel of belief on the other shoulder. What sets successful people apart is that after every failure, and after every doubt, they fought it with belief and forged on toward their goal.
Borrow my belief.
So, what do you do when you don’t believe in yourself? What do you do when that little devil of doubt is screaming on your shoulder and you can’t hear anything else? Borrow someone else’s belief in you. Who is standing on the sidelines cheering for you? Who can you call for encouragement? Who will come and stand alongside you when your faith is wavering and the goal seems so very far away or non-existent? Who will be your pacesetter to ensure you don’t give up and you just keep going?
The Emotional Support of Doulas
When most people think of doulas, they think of their “doula bags,” massage tricks and swaddling skills, but you may be surprised to learn that our most powerful tool is something you can’t see at all. It’s something you can feel. Having been a professional doula and birth mentor since 2007, I can tell you the emotional support I give clients is by far more powerful than any belly lift, position change, pumping trick or postpartum nutrition advice.
One client comes to mind, who didn’t need a single thing out of my doula bag of tricks.
After a long stretch of powerful labor, I asked her husband to take my place so I could take a quick restroom break. When I came back into the room a few moments later, she was shouting, “Eyes! Eyes!” It took me a beat to realize what she meant, and I looked to her husband who was right in front of her but his eyes were on the fetal monitor. Then it hit hit me. “Look into her eyes,” I told him. “Look into her eyes and give her your energy. Tell her with your eyes she can do this.”
She didn’t need my encouraging words or powerful hands massaging her. She didn’t need the encyclopedia in my mind of endless comfort measures. She needed my belief. As she labored on hour after hour, I hadn’t realized that she had developed a ritual of looking into my eyes during contractions. I didn’t say a word. I just looked into her beautiful eyes and breathed with her and gave her my belief and energy and support through that connection.
I believe in you.
Professional doulas are uniquely trained to attune to your needs in childbirth and the postpartum period. We know every woman is different and we are prepared to stand with you and let you borrow our belief in you when things get tough. We will be the angel on your shoulder saying you can do this and kicking that devil of doubt to the curb!