It doesn’t take much time on the internet to realize that it’s a simple fact that everyone has an opinion, and with the filter of a screen between person A and person B, those opinions are much more likely to voiced blunty and aggressively.
In my experience, there are few places that this is more clear than on pregnancy and parenting support groups. Sit in on one for an afternoon, and you’ll soon learn that no matter what choice you make, there will be someone ready to tell you why you’re wrong and what you should be doing instead. You’re choosing to formula feed? “I could never feed my baby something with all those chemicals!” You’re choosing to cloth diaper? “It just seems so unsanitary!” You’re choosing to have a homebirth? “What will you do if there’s an emergency? I just could never put my baby in danger like that!”
Usually, the judgement doesn’t come in the form of a simple “you’re wrong and this is why” statement, but rather in the form of sanctimonious “Well I would NEVER do xyz” from fellow mothers or “Have you seen this study?” from childbirth professionals such as doulas and childbirth educators. While, in most cases, the commenters mean well, what it ultimately comes down to is that they think they know what’s better for your family than you do.
I’m here to tell you that they don’t, and they never will.
What’s best for the mom down the street isn’t necessarily what’s best for you and your family. That’s okay. Trust your instincts.
You could receive the exact same evidence based information as another woman, and still draw different conclusions from it. That’s okay, too. Evidence based information should be provided in a way that informs you on topics that you want to know more about, not in a way that’s meant to sway to you to make one decision or another.
How Louisville Area Doulas does it differently.
When nearly everyone else in your support system has an opinion to give about what’s “right” or “best” for you birth, body, or baby, your birth doula, postpartum doula, and childbirth educator should be nonjudgmental and unbiased. That’s a firm foundation that Louisville Area Doulas is built upon.
We trust that you are a modern woman with access to the internet, and that you can do a great deal of research on your own. We also build a relationship with you that makes you feel comfortable coming to us for anything that you don’t understand or would like more information for.
We provide childbirth education in Louisville and Southern Indiana based on the Your Birth Experience model, which focuses on giving you the tools that you need to have a great birth experience, however that looks to you, rather than telling you that you need to do certain things to have a positive birth.
As labor and postpartum doulas, we are available as a source of information, but we never push it on you. We believe that your choices far outweigh a rigid adherence to “evidence based information”. If you want to have all of the latest academic studies and scholarly articles, great! We’re happy to provide them to you. If you want to make decisions based off of your gut or family traditions, that’s great, too! We support you 100%.
We don’t believe that there is a “right” or “wrong” way for you to give birth or parent, as long as you feel supported and satisfied and your baby is happy and healthy.
We don’t push an agenda on you or give you information with an expected outcome in mind. We don’t question your choices beyond seeking to know them so that we know how to best help you have an amazing experience.
We provide you with complete support for your family, from pregnancy through your first months as a new parent, bias and judgment free.
We don’t care if you breastfeed or formula feed. We don’t care if you are induced and get an epidural or if you go all natural. We don’t care if you circumcise your baby or not. We don’t care if you practice attachment parenting and co-sleeping or want to get your family on a schedule as soon as possible. It’s our job to support you unconditionally, not to push any opinions on what we would do on you.
Because opinions are like buttholes. Everyone’s got one, they’re a natural part of being a human, and you can do whatever you want with yours. But you have no right to go shoving yours in someone else’s face.